Games Musicians Play - Part I: Interpersonal Dynamics in the Music World

This article explores typical interpersonal dynamics in the music world through the lens of Eric Berne’s Games People Play. While Berne’s framework has been widely discussed, it has not yet been systematically applied to musicians. Here, we focus on the psychological patterns (schemas) underlying these “Games Musicians Play” and examine how they manifest in musicians’ everyday interactions. Part I introduces the connection between Berne’s game logic and Young’s schemas, and discusses six of eleven key games in the specific context of musicians.

Eric Berne’s revolutionary work "Games People Play" opened our eyes in the 1960s to the subtle psychological games in interpersonal relationships. Since then, these games have been applied to various social contexts – but the world of music has so far remained unexplored.

In the music world, a universe full of creative personalities, artistic vulnerability, and intense emotions, entirely unique variants of these games emerge. During my training in schema-focussed coaching, I focused intensively on those played by musicians and discovered fascinating parallels to Berne’s "games."

Important note beforehand: The following descriptions are intentionally simplified and are meant to support the understanding of social dynamics – not to stigmatize musicians or the music world. Psychological patterns are normal personality traits found in all people and appear in similar forms in every professional field. They only become problematic when they turn inflexible and begin to limit personal or professional development.

Those who understand themselves and others better can build more stable and fulfilling social relationships, collaborate more effectively, and regulate themselves more successfully – with the real payoff being greater artistic freedom, improved well-being, and increased success.

Theoretical Foundations: Transactional Analysis Meets Schema Therapy

Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis

As early as the 1960s, Berne recognized that many interpersonal conflicts are unconsciously staged psychological games. These follow a typical sequence – from the initial trigger, through emotional reactions, to the "reward" (payoff) that reinforces the behavior.

His analysis is based on three ego states:

• Parent Ego (critical or nurturing)

• Adult Ego (rational, reflective)

• Child Ego (emotional, needy, or rebellious)

  
  

Psychological games usually arise from unmet needs of the Child Ego and repeat familiar, but often no longer adaptive, relational patterns.

Jeffrey Young’s Schema Model

Jeffrey Young’s schema therapy is based on the insight that our inner experience is strongly shaped by so-called schemas – deeply rooted emotional patterns that usually develop in childhood or adolescence. They emerge when basic needs such as safety/control, autonomy, recognition/competence, emotional expression, or connection (attachment) are repeatedly or persistently unmet. These schemas manifest through "schema modes" – internal states (emotions, thoughts, behaviors) – between which we switch.

These modes include:

• Injured, anxious, or angry child modes

• Punitive or demanding inner critics

• Coping modes such as avoidance, submission, or overcompensation

• As a target state: the healthy or competent adult, who can maintain inner balance

Scientific Foundation: Two Schools with Remarkable Parallels

The similarity between Young’s schema modes and Eric Berne’s ego states is striking. While Berne describes the mechanics of the games, Young explains their deeper motivation. Early maladaptive schemas serve as the driving forces behind Berne’s games.

Even though Transactional Analysis and Schema Therapy were developed historically independently, there are clear overlaps. Both models focus on internal states, relational experiences, and recurring role patterns. And both aim to make old patterns conscious and to change them.

A particularly interesting contribution comes from Gregor Žvelc, who in 2010 interpreted psychological games in the Transactional Analysis Journal as expressions of relational schemas. Empirical studies also show:

• Interventions based on Berne’s Transactional Analysis can directly affect maladaptive schemas,

• Both methods are effective in couples therapy and personality development and reach deeper than behavioral therapeutic measures.

  
  

The direct connection between Berne’s game logic and Young’s underlying emotional patterns has, however, been hardly systematically explored – especially not in the context of music.

This is precisely where my focus lies: In this article, I combine Berne’s structured game analysis with Young’s schema model and examine it against the backdrop of my experience working with musicians.

Typical Psychological Patterns in Musicians

The psychological games that musicians play often have their roots in deeper patterns – so-called schemas. These arise from formative experiences and are automatically activated, especially under stress or in challenging situations. From my coaching practice, certain schemas appear particularly frequently in musicians: relentless demands, feelings of inadequacy/shame, tendencies toward self-punishment, fear of failure, entitlement/grandiosity, negativity/pessimism, self-sacrifice, or the pursuit of recognition.

[Detailed information on the most common schema patterns in musicians can be found in the background article Schemata in Musicians – Reflecting Psychological Patterns and Strengthening Self-Competence]

These patterns are understandable responses to the unique demands of the music world: early specialization, frequent public evaluation, hierarchical structures, and high standards of perfection. Originally, they helped navigate difficult situations – but today, they can limit our range of action.

The good news: just like in jazz, we can expand our "inner repertoire" through new schemas – instead of remaining stuck in familiar patterns, we can develop alternative ways of acting in our lives.

Games Musicians Play in the Music World

You may recognize yourself in more than one role. Each example illustrates a primary dynamic – in reality, multiple patterns are usually involved, and all participants bring their own schemas into the interaction. The parentheses indicate which of Eric Berne’s games each example is related to.

1. "The Perfect Audition" (a variation of "Why Don't You... Yes, But")

Course of the Game: The violinist Elena Kowalski complains to colleagues about her nerves during auditions and asks for advice, but rejects every suggestion. Each piece of advice is blocked with a "Yes, but..." response.

Example:

""I'm so nervous about tomorrow's audition for the Philharmonic." - "Why not try breathing exercises or mental training?" - "Yes, but that never works for me. My nervousness is different."

[Does not practice any relaxation techniques despite advice and avoids mock auditions]

"The piece is too difficult… too easy… too familiar… too unfamiliar."

Schema-Background: Here, the schemas of Failure/Inadequacy and/or Unrelenting Standards dominate. Elena seeks confirmation of her fear, not real solutions (avoidance), because genuine help would increase the risk of failure. She thinks: "If I don’t really try, I can say I was nervous rather than that my performance wasn’t good enough."

Payoff: Avoidance of the fear of imperfection through endless preparation without ever truly starting. Gains attention without taking any real risk.

2. "The Lost Soloist" (a variation of "Wooden Leg")

Course of the Game: Kenji uses his “artistic sensitivity” as a justification for all interpersonal problems.

Example:

"I can’t play in this ensemble. As a soloist, I feel too intensely. Chamber music suffocates my artistic soul."

[Skips rehearsals and isolates himself instead of communicating specific difficulties or seeking compromises]

Schema-Background: Self-sacrifice combines with grandiosity – "Others don’t understand how deeply I feel" or "I am special."

Payoff: Protection from challenges and potential rejection through the "wooden-leg" excuse.

3. "Jazz Purist Poker" (a variation of "Mine's Better Than Yours")

Course of the Game: Marcus from New Orleans and Yuki from Tokyo, both jazz musicians, outdo each other with obscure jazz knowledge and claims of authenticity. Endless discussions about “authentic” jazz, who has the “truer” influences, the “purer” technique, or the “deeper” understanding of the tradition.

Example: 

"You sing Ella Fitzgerald? How cute. I’m currently studying the lost recordings of Clifford Brown. Hardly anyone knows them."

[Spends hours listening to obscure recordings and collecting trivia instead of working on his own playing]

Schema-Background: Feelings of inadequacy are compensated for through superiority and avoidance (procrastination).

Payoff: Maintains the illusion of artistic superiority without having to be evaluated through their own creations.

4. "The Silent Orchestra Musician" (a variation of "Yes, But" + "Poor Me")

Course of the Game: Fatima complains about her orchestra position but rejects any change.

Example:

"No one hears the viola; we’re just filler. But I can’t go into the soloist role either – way too much pressure."

[Never applies for solo parts, rejects chamber music opportunities]

Schema-Background: Fear of failure and submissiveness reinforce each other – "Better to remain unhappy than to be completely rejected."

Payoff: Gains sympathy without the risk of rejection.

5. "The Overworked Concertmaster" (a variation of "Harried Executive")

Course of the Game: Sarah constantly takes on extra tasks and constantly complains about being overwhelmed.

Example:

"I can’t go to the party – rehearsal tomorrow, concert the day after, correct three parts, coach soloists… Everything would fall apart without me."

Schema-Background: Self-sacrifice and unrelenting standards combined with the need for recognition – cannot set boundaries but expects admiration.

Payoff: Seeks confirmation of indispensability and accumulates “debt” of gratitude.

6. "This won’t work anyway!" (a variation of "Why Does This Always Happen to Me?")

Course of the Game: The clarinetist Roberto Silva systematically sabotages his chances in important situations through self-destructive predictions and behaviors (arrives late to auditions, prepares poorly, cancels concerts). This turns these situations into self-fulfilling prophecies, after which he complains about his "bad luck" and the "unfairness of the music world."

Example:

Before important concerts:

"Why should I even prepare? The jury is already bought, the Russians will win anyway. My approach has always been problematic. I’ll just embarrass myself."

[As a result, practices less and drinks alcohol the night before]

"This conductor hates Italian musicians anyway. The piece doesn’t suit me. The acoustics in the Philharmonie make me nervous. This is going to be a disaster."

[Misses important rehearsals and arrives poorly prepared]

Schema-Background: Failure/inadequacy and shame – Roberto is so afraid of rejection and failure that he sabotages himself beforehand. This way, he can say, "I knew it wouldn’t work," instead of exposing himself to the risk of genuine evaluation. The negativity/pessimism schema makes him expect the worst.

Payoff: Reinforcement of the victim role without having to face the fear of real success or failure. Protection from genuine disappointment with the sense of "being right."

Preview of Part II:

In the next article, I will introduce five more typical games from the music world – including “Master and Student,” “The Misunderstood Composer,” and “Rehearsal Roulette.” It will also cover concrete strategies from coaching and schema work: how musicians can break free from these patterns and achieve more authentic communication and greater artistic freedom.

Conclusion: From Games to Genuine Connection

Understanding Schemas as Signals

The psychological games that arise in the music world are neither random nor inherently problematic. They are rooted in real psychological needs and past experiences. Rather than judging these patterns, we can understand them as signals – indicators of unmet needs for recognition, safety, autonomy, and authentic connection.

The connection between Berne’s Transactional Analysis and Young’s schema model shows that behind every recurring interpersonal game lies a deeper emotional pattern, originally developed as a protective or coping strategy. This insight opens new perspectives for understanding social dynamics in the music field.

The Unique Dynamics of the Music World

The music field, through its specific characteristics – early specialization, frequent public evaluation, hierarchical structures, and high standards of perfection – creates fertile ground for certain schema activations. This explains why some interpersonal patterns may occur particularly frequently or intensely in this environment.

At the same time, music as an artistic medium offers unique opportunities for emotional expression and human connection – resources that can be leveraged in the development of more authentic forms of relationships.

The Path to More Conscious Relationships

Recognizing psychological games is only the first step. True change lies in developing more conscious choices: instead of automatically falling into familiar roles, musicians can learn to perceive, assess, and communicate their needs and boundaries more appropriately.

This does not mean avoiding all "games" – some indeed serve important social functions. Rather, it is about becoming more flexible and responding appropriately to situations, instead of being trapped in rigid patterns.

The synthesis of Berne’s structured game analysis with Young’s underlying emotional patterns provides a nuanced framework for this development – especially in a profession where personal vulnerability and artistic authenticity are so closely intertwined.

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Read More:

[Detailed information on the most common schema patterns in musicians can be found in the background article Schemata in Musicians – Reflecting Psychological Patterns and Strengthening Self-Competence]

GERMAN Language:

Interview mit der Deutschen Orchestervereinigung Unisono: https://uni-sono.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/2024-11-28-Huebsch-im-Interview-mit-HIldebrandt-und-Wenhardt-2024.pdf

Wenhart T. Mental Stark, psychisch gesund - Konzeption von Schema-Workshops für Musiker:innen und Musiklehrkräfte. 2024 DOI: 10.13140/RG.2.2.21773.51686

https://www.teresawenhart.com/_files/ugd/ef9191_0e637c90faf74a43a19de9fb64a90191.pdf

Sources:

• Berne, E. (2011). Games people play: The basic handbook of transactional analysis. Tantor eBooks.

• Žvelc, G. (2010). Relational Schemas Theory and Transactional Analysis. TA Journal, 40(1), 16–29.

• Young, J.E., Klosko, J.S. & Weishaar, M.E. (2003) Schema Therapy: A practitioner’s guide. New York, NY: Guilford Press

• Jacob, G., & Arntz, A. (2015). Schematherapie in der Praxis. Beltz

• Handrock, A., Zahn, C. A., & Baumann, M. (2016). Schemaberatung, Schemacoaching, Schemakurzzeittherapie. Beltz